Slipping Up
by RomanogersSwan
Summary: Natasha loves Steve. Steve loves Natasha but neither knows that. Steve is with Sharon. What happens when Sharon over hears a conversation between Pepper, Maria and Natasha? This could change there lives forever. Starts as Staron but then Romanogers. ON HOLD FOR AN INDEFINITE AMOUNT OF TIME
1. Chapter 1

She wanted him, so bad. She loved him so much. She had been working on becoming a better person for HIM and then he went and asked out Sharon. It hurt her so much. Natasha was meant to be planning a party with Pepper and Maria but she just couldn't stop thinking about him.

"Natasha?"

"Sorry, what?"

"What happened you spaced out?"

"Nothing, Pep. I'm ok." Natasha said, hoping she sounded convincing. "Carry on."

"Anyways, its gonna be Wanda's 21st in a couple of weeks and I think we should do something like all of us go to a bar or a club." Pepper said. Maria and Natasha nodded. "Ok, we've talked about party planning for long enough. I wanna talk about boys!" Maria exclaimed making them all laugh. "Ok. Maria, I can't help but notice that you've gotten pretty close to Sam these past few weeks." Natasha said, taking a sip from her beer.

"Ha! I wish! We've only talk!"

"Yeah right..." Pepper said laughing. They continued to discuss Maria and Sam until Maria got bored of all the gossip and said "Ok, enough about me. What about you, Nat? I notice haven't called any of the guys that have you their numbers when we go clubbing, what's up with that?"

"Nothing, they were just looking for a fling." Natasha said, hoping her friends didn't notice that she was blushing. "Nat, you're blushing. Who is it?" Pepper asked. Shit they had noticed. "It's no one." Nat was still blushing. "Really Nat?"

"Pep, he's taken. I worked for ages to be better for him and now he's dating someone else. So I'll get over him." Natasha said, a sad smile on her face. "Wait, Natasha, do you like Steve?" Pepper asked unable to keep the surprise from her voice. "No." Not a lie, but not exactly truthful either.

"Nat..." Pepper pleaded, sending Nat wasn't telling the truth. "Fine!" Natasha said, slightly exasperated. "I love him. Is that what you wanted to hear? I missed my chance. To be honest it's kinda my fault cos I kept suggesting girls for him." Natasha mumbled sadly.

"Natasha. Come on. Let's go out! You need to cheer up! He's dating Sharon. This is gonna sound harsh but get over him! Please! I want to go out!" Maria said, pulling Nat off the sofa and smiling brightly as Natasha agreed.

* * *

1 hour later and they were all in the nearest bar. Pepper and Nat were sitting at their regular booth, watching Maria order their drinks. "So Nat, who do you like the look of?" Maria asked, sitting down and handing them their drinks. "Ummm, he looks..." Her voice trailed off as she saw Steve walk into the bar, Sharon on his arm.

"Shit. I need to... I can't... he's here." She stammered and looked at Pepper and Maria pleadingly. "Ok, um, lets just stay here until he leaves?" Maria suggested half-heartedly. "I.." her voice trailed off as tears welled in her eyes. "Natasha? Hey look at us." Pepper said, shaking her.

Natasha blinked furiously and nodded. "Ok. I don't know why I'm so upset. It's not like I ever had a chance with him anyways. He always wanted some blonde, tall beauty; not a broken assassin." Natasha mumbled, and sipped on her beer. "Nat." Pepper warned. "I'm fine" Natasha said and finished her beer. The three sat in silence, Maria lookin for guys, Pepper drinking and Natasha looking at Steve longingly.

"Ok! I'm getting shots!" Natasha said, forcing herself to sound cheery. "Yas! Let's do it!" Pepper cheered. Natasha nodded, and left to get the drinks. When she was waiting to be served she felt a hand on her bare shoulder and sparks fly at the contact; she knew exactly who he was. "Hey, Steve! How's the date going?" She asked, forcibly cheery.

"Really great!" Steve clearly missed Natasha tense up and grit her teeth. "That's great!" She sighed.

"What can I get you, beautiful?" The bartender asked, this time it was Natasha's turn to miss Steve tense up. "I'll have some shots." She answered with a smile. "I'd better get back to my date, I'll see you tomorrow for training." Steve told her, walking away his expression sad.

"There you go, pretty." The bartender handed her the shots and she paid him and walked away.

"Shots are here!" Natasha said, sitting down and handing out the shots. "Nat, we saw your interaction with Steve. He looks pretty pissed when the bartender spoke to you." Maria said.

"Did he?!" Natasha exclaimed a little to excited. "Did he?" She said again, more controlled. "Yeah, he looked sadder." Pepper informed her. Natasha picked up ver shot and motioned for them to do the same. They took their shots and continued with the conversation. "I bet he didn't. He wouldn't be with Sharon if he felt that way about me." She told them sadly.

They finished their shots and left the bar; Maria with two new numbers, Pepper and Natasha with none. Natasha stared at Steve before they left the bar to go back to Avengers tower.

They said goodbye to each other and went to their respective floors. Natasha thought about Steve the entire time. Seriously what was wrong with her? She really needed to get over her feelings. But how could she when she was always with Steve and they were practically attached at the hip during work. Nat got changed and drifted off into sleep. Although her dreams were plagued with images of Steve and her.


	2. Chapter 2

"You ready, Sharon?"

"Yes. Let's go." She answered and tried to take his hand but he pulled it away quickly. If she was hurt she didn't show it. Steve and Sharon walked to the bar in silence and when they got there Sharon grabbed onto his arm when they entered the bar and then he saw why. Steve stopped dead.

It was _her_.

She couldn't see him on this date. Steve knew he missed his chance when he asked Sharon out. He loved her so much but she never showed any signs of liking him- or even loving him- like that, despite what Peggy had said.

He only realised he had been standing still when Sharon began to drag him to a booth. He saw Natasha get up and walk to the bar and he blurted out, "I'll get us some drinks."

He walked up to the bar and sat next to her. He placed a hand on her bare shoulder. She turned and he saw her force out a smile. "Hey, Steve! How's the date going?" _Shit, she had noticed. Oh well. It's not like she's ever gonna date you._

"Really great!" He said cheerfully. "That's great." He heard her sigh. "What can I get you beautiful?" The bartender asked and Steve tensed up and gritted his teeth. _Calm down Steve_ he told himself. Natasha's angelic voice took him away from his thoughts. "I'll have some shots please." Steve ordered what he wanted and when he got it he said, "I'd better get back to my date. I'll see you tomorrow for training." He forced out and walked away feeling sad and annoyed.

He sat down next to Sharon and handed her her drink. "You ok?" She asked. "Yeah." He said, subconsciously moving away from Sharon when she scooted closer to him.

"Have you been to see Peggy recently?" Sharon asked. This was really their only connection Steve thought. They had nothing in common apart from Peggy, the only real reason he went out with her was because he realised that Nat would never like him back.

"Earth to Steve?" Sharon waved a hand in front of Steve's face. Steve forced a smile and shook his head. "Sorry. Just remembering times I spent with Peggy." He lied.

"Tell me about her. What she was like when you knew her." Sharon begged so Steve explained.

"She was amazing. Really badass. She always got the job done no matter what the cost. She never wanted you to be late for anything." He paused, "Ever." He laughed, and then he really thought over there memories together. This time Sharon had to physically shake him to break him from his stupor.

"Sorry." He mumbled, "What's she like now?" Sharon asked, "Like what do you talk about?"

"Well she basically just wanted me to be happy, even if it wasn't with her." Steve sighed when he recalled the last time he went to visit her.

" _So, how's it going with the girl you talk about so much?" Peggy asked with a laugh that turned to a cough. Steve handed her some water and made sure she drank it before answering. "I- I dunno. I get the feeling she doesn't like me." Peggy laughed. "Then no offence to her but she's an idiot. How could no one see how great and amazing you are? How could she not like you?"_

" _She just doesn't."_

" _How do you know? What's her name?"_

" _Natasha. Natasha Romanoff."_

" _Is she the red-head you brought with you last time you came?" Peggy asked. "Yes." It was true, he had taken Nat to see Peggy because he was always talking about her and he wanted Nat to meet her._

" _Doesn't like you… bullshit. You maybe didn't see it, but I did. She looked at you like you were the best thing in the world." Steve shook his head. "Sorry Peggy. I want to believe you, I really do but-but I just can't I'm sorry."_

" _Oh, Steve. It's ok." Peggy whispered and reached for his hand. "Even if she doesn't like you back, at least she is in your life." Steve nodded. "I'm sorry Peggy, I have to go." He said as he got a text from none other than Natasha. He smiled. '_ Come quick. Meeting with Fury. :)' _Natasha always used emoticons when she texted him. He texted a quick reply '_ Be 20 mins. With Peggy'

" _That's her, isn't it? I can tell by the way your face lights up." Steve nodded. "So sorry Peggy. I have to go. I'll come again next week." He said and kissed her forehead lightly._

"That's nice. Who knew that your happiness was being with me?" Sharon laughed. _But it isn't with you; it's when I'm with Natasha._ He wanted to tell her but he restrained himself. Sharon continued to talk anything and everything.

He zoned out and thought about Natasha- her hair, her voice, her heart. Woah! Stop it right there Steve! You are on a date with amazing woman focus on her; not Natasha. He mentally slapped himself. It was gone eleven when they left the bar.

Being the gentleman he is, Steve walked Sharon to her apartment. "You wanna come in?" Sharon asked, clearly she thought this dated had gone well- which if Steve was honest it had, she just wasn't Nat. He shook his head, "Sorry. Can't. Training tomorrow." Sharon looked sad but she shook the look away. "Ok, bye then. I'll call you." She said and kissed his cheek before walking into her apartment.

Wait; wasn't he supposed to call her? Oh well. He trudged back to Avengers tower and up to the common room- he needed some food. He stopped when he saw Natasha- in sleeping shorts and a camisole- raiding the fridge.

"Hey, what are you looking for?" Steve asked, making Natasha jump and bang her head on the fridge. "Ah, shit." She groaned and Steve rushed to her side, "You ok?" He asked, hands running through her hair- checking for any cuts. Both enjoyed the feeling but never admit it. He pulled his hands out of hair when he was sure she had no cuts.

She nodded and winced, "Are you sure? Nat?" He asked when she looked distant. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you still doing up?" She asked, Steve swallowed. "I just dropped Sharon at her house." Natasha nodded. "What are YOU doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. Nightmares." Steve felt a pang of sorrow in his chest. He wanted to hug Natasha and make her feel better. "Do you wanna watch a movie in my room?" The question escaped his mouth before he even thought it through. Surprisingly she nodded. "Ok, I'll make some popcorn and be up there in 10." She told him.

She smiled lightly before scolding herself. _This not a date Romanoff! Don't get any ideas!_


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha grabbed the popcorn and headed up to Steve's room. Her eyes were drooping and she hoped that she wouldn't fall asleep in Steve's room. She didn't want to wake him up with her nightmares.

"Steve, can I come in?" She asked once before knocking on his door. "Wait a sec." He said back before opening the door for her. Natasha walked into his room and she jumped onto the bed. "What?" She asked when Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing. What do you want to walk?" Steve asked as he sat down next to her. " _Singing in the Rain_? I dunno- nothing to exciting, I'm tired."

"Ok. FRIDAY play _Singing in the Rain_." Natasha grabbed a handful of popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth. Halfway through, Natasha's head began to droop and she rested it on Steve's chest.

Steve stiffened at the contact, before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. Once the film had finished, Steve looked down and saw that Natasha was still asleep.

He moved back in the bed and rested her on the pillows. She began to mumble something in her sleep. Steve thought nothing of it so he moved away and sat on his couch.

They were all there. She was strapped to that gurney and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't escape. "Please. Please let me go." She cried out as another syringe of serum was injected into her. "Please…" She begged but was cut off when a gag was placed over her mouth. She started screaming when the serum began to burn.

Her eyes opened and she looked around. She was drenched in sweat and her throat was horse from screaming. She looked around again this wasn't her room. "Hello?" She whispered out.

"Nat? Are you ok?" Steve said as he came back into the room. Cold water and some food in hand. "No."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve asked as he handed her the water. "Do, uh- have anything um thing I can change into? My pyjamas are drenched." She saw Steve turn red.

"Uh, sure. Here." He said as he passed her a top. He turned away so she could change. "I'm sorry. I'll go." She said as she began to get off the bed. Her legs were wobbly and Steve caught her by the waist before she fell.

"Do, you um want me to help you back to your room?" Steve asked as he set her back on her feet. Natasha just nodded her eyes had turned blank.

She started to walk but she couldn't walk properly so Steve scooped her up and carried her to her room. "Thanks." She said as he placed her in her bed.

Steve kissed her forehead before moving to the door. "Night Nat."

"Steve, can you uh stay?" She asked. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Night Steve." She said hastily when Steve looked confused.

"Sure." He said after he pondered things over. "Natasha, when was the last time you slept properly?" Steve asked he slipped into her bed.

"Err, I don't actually know. I get nightmares about being in the red room a lot. So I don't know." She said earnestly as she wiggled around so she could lay her head on Steve's chest.

"Goodnight Steve."

"Goodnight Nat."

That night, Natasha didn't wake up again but instead she slept peacefully. When she did wake up she found that Steve had left. She wasn't really surprised. He's probably gone to be with Sharon. Natasha rubbed her eyes and showered and changed.

When she got downstairs she found that everyone else was already training apart from Wanda. "Hey sweetie. You ok?" Natasha asked as she stole some of the pancakes that were in the oven.

"No. I want Pietro back. It'll be my first birthday without him. I miss him so much." Wanda cried. "Oh sweetie. Come here." Natasha opened here arms and the Sokovian teen crawled into them. "It's ok." Natasha said as she rubbed her back.

She looked up to see the boys coming into the room after training. She took her hand off Wanda's back and waved them away. Steve got the message. He murmured something to them and they walked back to their rooms.

"Do you want some advice Wanda?" Natasha asked as they broke apart and Wanda nodded.

"Remember Pietro, but don't linger on his memory. Of course you'll miss him. We all will, especial Clint. It will be hard on the day you shared together but soon, the pain of his death will lessen. You will never forget him and I promise you I won't let you forget him but you need to move on. I know it sounds harsh, but you do. I will help you in anyway I can. On your birthday we'll celebrate that you're turning 18 and we'll honour him. I promise you." Natasha said and kissed Wanda's forehead.

"Thanks Nat. You real are a good friend." Wanda said as she got off the sofa. "I'll go change. I think I have an appointment with my therapist soon so yeah. Bye Nat."

Once Natasha was alone, she pulled out her phone and called Pepper and Maria. Once they had both picked up she merged the calls. "Hey. Where are you guys?"

"Pentagon."

"Avengers Tower."

"Oh. Pepper where abouts?"

"Mine and Tony's room."

"Ok cool. Could you come down to the common room? I need to talk to you."

"Sure." Pepper said and hung up. "Maria, could you come to the tower or not?" Natasha asked as she waved to Steve who walked into the room.

"Uh, yeah. Fury said I'm not needed. I'll be over in an hour." Maria said and hung up. Natasha put her phone on the coffee table and rested back in the couch.

"You ok?" Steve asked as he came and sat down next to her. "No. I just want Wanda to feel better and I want to stop having these nightmares. I haven't slept in months." She admitted.

"Nat? You said you- oh shit sorry." Pepper said. "Don't worry Pep. I'll meet you in my room. I'll be up in a few." Pepper nodded and left the room.

"Thanks for staying with me last night. I really did sleep better. Could we do it again tonight?" Natasha asked, a blush on her cheeks. This was probably the only way she could get closer to Steve without revealing her true feelings for him.

Steve smiled at the red-cheeked Natasha. "Sure." Natasha and Steve both smiled. "I'd better go see Pepper. Thank you Steve." She said and kissed his cheek. Steve turned red and Natasha saw.

"That's ok Nat." He stumbled over his words. This was the first time she had seen him properly flustered. Sharon never had this affect on him. This was the first time Natasha allowed herself to believe that Steve also had feelings for her.

 **Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated this story in so long, but I plan on updating them a lot more during the holidays. But after the holidays my updating scheme may be a bit erratic.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Alright then Nat, what do you want to talk?" Pepper asked once Natasha had shut the door. "Two things- Steve and Wanda's party." Natasha said, still wondering about Steve's possible feelings for her.

"Ok, we'll start with Wanda's party because I feel like that will be easier and shorter talk so we can spend more time on the Steve part of the topic." Natasha laughed.

"Ok, Wanda's party… We can have a party but I promised her we could honour Pietro. So, we'll party games and spin the bottle and that."

"I like that idea, we'll figure out how to honour Pietro later. Now I want to hear about Steve." Pepper begged. "I feel like I'd be cheating Maria though, so we'll wait." Natasha said. "Let's go down and wait for Maria." Pepper said and they went downstairs.

"Hello?" Natasha called, just to check that Steve wasn't there with Sharon. No answer. "Ok, we good." Natasha said and pulled Pepper into the room with her.

"Ok. I don't care if Maria isn't here I want to hear about our Captain." Pepper begged as the two of them sat down. "How much do you want to know?" Natasha asked and checked her phone after it buzzed.

"Everything!" Pepper said, her eyes widening and she grinned madly. "Ok, I slept with Steve." Natasha said, not realising how it sounded to passers-by. Unluckily, that passer-by was Sharon. Sharon just stood there and listened into the conversation. "What?!" Pepper screamed.

"Not like that Pepper!" Natasha laughed and hit her n the arm, "If I did I would have been blushing a lot." Natasha trailed off and smiled to herself. "Onto the rest of the story." Pepper said.

"Ok, ok. I went to get some food after we got back from the bar because I couldn't sleep and he was there and he made me jump and invited me to come and watch a movie. We finished the movie and I fell sleep on his chest." Natasha looked at Pepper and saw that she was smiling brightly.

"Go on. I want to hear the rest." Pepper said eagerly. "Hey guys!" Maria said and walked into the room. "What are we talking about?" Maria flopped down on the sofa next to Natasha.

"Steve." Pepper said happily. "Oh cool, what's new?"

"After we got back from the bar Steve invited me to watch a movie and I said yes and then I fell asleep on his chest after the movie." Natasha paused. "Go on."

"I had one of my Red Room nightmares and woke up. Steve helped me to my room and stayed with me until I was asleep and then sometime during the night he left, probably because he's dating Sharon." Natasha finished sadly.

"That's so cute. I love both of you. You'll find way to be together. I promise you that." Pepper said and Maria nodded. "I asked if we could do it again, cos it was the first good sleep I'd had in ages. He said yes. Why do I have to have feelings for him? He's so cute and sweet. Why do I love him?" Natasha whined and both girls laughed and hugged.

Sharon had had enough. She walked past the room and up to Steve's. "Steve?" She called. "Yeah?" Steve said and walked out of his art studio. "You need to stay away from Natasha. She's being a creepy stalker person." Sharon begged.

"Why? I'm not going to leave her alone. She's my bestfriend." _And the person I love more than anything._ Steve added silently. "Why is she a creepy stalker person?" Steve asked out loud.

"She was telling Pepper and Maria about last night. She said that you two watched a movie. And you know the rest. She also said why do I have to have feelings for him." Sharon said and Steve stopped breathing. _She_ _loves me as well?_

"Sharon, I'm sure that's not true." _I hope it's true I love her too._

"It is. You need to stop being her friend because then she'll start to make a move on you." Sharon begged. "Sharon. No, I'm not going to stop seeing her. She's my bestfriend, my partner. Sharon I'm not going to stop being her friend just because you heard a conversation." Steve tried to reason with her but she wasn't having any of it.

Sharon sighed and walked out of his room. "FRIDAY, did you get that?" Sharon asked. "Yes Agent Carter."

"Thank you. Now play, 'I'm going to stop being her friend because she is a creepy stalker. Why would I ever love a broke assassin like her?' In whatever room Agent Romanoff is in. Hopefully it will get her to stay away from my man."

Steve stood there dumbfounded- Natasha loved him? He- he needed to go and see her. He walked out of his room and down to the common room where he knew she'd be.

"Nat?" He called as he walked into the room. He saw her sitting on the couch, in tears with Pepper and Maria consoling her. "Fuck off." She hissed. "What, Nat?"

"Stay away from her." Maria said. "Come on sweetie, let's go." Pepper said and helped Natasha up. "A broken assassin? Creepy stalker?" Natasha said as she passed him. "Thanks. Now I know what people actually think of me." She cried.

"Pepper, get her up to her room. I want to talk to Steve." Maria said and Pepper nodded. Once they were out of earshot, Maria began to shout at Steve. "WHAT THE FUCK?! Why the hell would you do something like that?! Do you have any idea how much she loves you and how much she values your opinion?!" Maria screamed. Steve just stood there and let Maria shout. He'd never said anything like that about Natasha. Why would he say that to the love of his life?

"Maria. MARIA! Let me talk!" Steve shouted when she wouldn't stop. "I never said that shit to her! I- I- Sharon came up to my room and started to say shit about her." Steve said, trying not to cry. "She was saying I couldn't be her friend because apparently she's a creepy stalker. I swear I didn't say anything like that!" Steve exclaimed.

"I would never hurt her, I love her more than you could possibly imagine."

"Oh, shit."


	5. Chapter 5

Pepper settled Natasha into her room before saying she needed to talk to Steve. Once Natasha was left alone, she began to cry. _What did I do to hurt him? Why does he think I'm broken?_ Natasha asked herself.

She got off the bed and began to pack her bags. "FRIDAY, can you book me a room at the nearest hotel?" She asked the AI. "Of course Agent Romanoff. You are booked in the Lamb and Chick B&B, under the name Margaret May." The AI told her.

"Thank you. Could you only tell Wanda where I've gone? And that is only if she asks."

"Of course Agent Romanoff. I suggest if you are going to go, I would go now. Agent Hill, Ms Potts and Captain Rogers are on their way up to your room."

"Thank you FRIDAY." Natasha said as she climbed out of the window. She dropped her bags onto the balcony before dropping down after them. She checked that no one was sitting the common room before walking through the window.

She spilled out the garage and hailed a cab. "Lamb and Chick B&B please." Natasha asked the cab driver. "Of course."

They arrived at the B&B, "That'll be $8.98, please miss." Natasha handed him the money, and a little extra, "Please don't tell anyone you saw me here. I don't want to be followed." The cab driver nodded and handed her his number.

"If you ever need a ride, call this number and I'll come pick you up. My names Cal, by the way."

"Thank you Cal. I'm Natasha, although you already know that. I think FRIDAY booked me a room under Margaret May. So just call me Margaret."

"I will. Bye Margaret." Cal said and helped her with the bags. "Bye Cal." Natasha said as she walked into the B&B. "I have a room booked under Margaret May." She told the desk lady as she pulled her hoodie lower over her forehead.

"Ok, you're in room 67. The room is pay as you go, is that correct?"

"Yes. I'll probably be staying for a couple of weeks." She told the desk lady as she handed Natasha the key. Natasha walked up the flights of stairs and unlocked the door to her room.

Natasha dumped her bags on the bed and buried her head in her hands. She let the tears that had been building up ever since she left the tower spill out from her eyes. She cried because of what Steve had said, because she was to scared to properly confront him, because she left the Avengers because their was no way she would stay with them if Steve kept making comments about that.

After a while she took a shaky breath and began unpacking her clothes. She plugged her phone into charge and then changed into her pyjamas. It was only early in the day but she just wanted to curl up into a ball and try to shut out the outside world.

She fell into an uneasy sleep and was only awoken when her phone began to ping. She looked at the caller and saw that it was Wanda. Sighing she answered it. "Hey Wanda." Natasha said, trying not to sound like she had been crying and THEN went to sleep.

"Nat! Where are you?!" Wanda screamed into the phone. Natasha heard the other Avengers over the phone. "It doesn't matter." She choked out, her eyes watering.

"Yes it does!" Wanda exclaimed

"Where are you?!" Pepper shouted

"FRIDAY won't tell us." Tony said. "I tried to hack my way in but even that won't work."

"It's cos I don't want you to know where I am!" Natasha said, tears running down her face. "Keep her talking. It's nearly down." She heard Maria whisper.

"Natasha, please tell us!" She heard Steve say. Then she really broke, even more tears than should be humanely possible slipped down her face and she began to gasp. "Natasha?" Sam asked.

Just at that moment Natasha realised why Maria wanted her to keep talking, they were trying to trace the call! She heard Maria whispering that she only needed a few more seconds. "Don't call me again!" She hissed into the phone before hanging up.

* * *

"Nat!" Wanda shouted as the call was cut. "What's up with her?" Rhodey asked the girls. "Yeah, why did she just up and leave?"

"Cos of me." Steve said in a small voice, the smallest Wanda had ever heard him speak in. "Why?"

"Sharon came up to me and said that she was a creepy stalker person and that I should stop being friends with her. I don't know what happened next but when I came down she was pretty fucking mad at me." Steve admitted.

"I do." Pepper said. "We were down here talking about you and then FRIDAY started playing something with you say horrible things about her. It hurt her, because she thought you actually said them. Obviously you didn't because of what you told Maria."

"Wait, Capsicle, what did you say to Hill?" Tony asked. Steve looked sheepish so Maria answered for him. "He told me he loved her more than I could possibly imagine." Maria smiled.

" I knew it!" Tony exclaimed. "We need to find her." Maria said and everyone agreed. "Ok, we all need to look but I'm not going." Steve said and everyone looked confused.

"I thought you were going to be the most eager one to try and find her." Sam said. "I was, I do! I want to find her more than anything but she still thinks I wanted to say those things. I'm the last person she'd want to see." Steve explained.

"It's true." Wanda said. "Ok, we can start tomorrow. We don't want her to get suspicious." Rhodey said but Wanda had already slipped out of the room. "FRIDAY, please tell me where Natasha is. She needs to hear the full story." Wanda begged.

"She's at the Lamb and Chick B&B, under the name Margaret May." The AI informed her. "Thanks FRIDAY." Natasha said as she sprinted out the tower.

* * *

Natasha sat on her bed. Her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking. "Miss, your room service is here." The woman had an accent that Natasha recognized slightly but she thought nothing of it.

"Please just leave it outside the door." Natasha cried. "Miss I can't, there is someone that has been- Oh Goddamnit Natasha! Just open the fucking door!" Wanda said, her Sokovian accent showing.

Natasha wiped her eyes and sighed before getting off her bed and opening the door. Wanda rushed into the room and set the tray down on her table.

"What are you doing here" Natasha asked as the Sokovian ran to hug her. "FRIDAY told me. No one else knows." Natasha cried into her shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

"Natasha, you need to come back to the Tower." Wanda begged once they had finished the food. "No, I'm not going back if Steve is going to be a complete douche and tell me I'm a basic fuck up."

Wanda sighed; this was going to be harder than she originally thought. "But, Natasha it's my birthday soon." Wanda asked, hoping that would persuade her for she knew Nat had a soft spot for her and Steve she could manipulate that.

Wanda begged again, hey eyes growing wide. "Please Nat, please." Wanda begged. "Fine. But only for your birthday then I'm gone."

Well, it was a start. "Thank you!" Wanda exclaimed and her phone began to buzz. "Let me check this. I won't tell anyone where we are ok?" She added when she saw Natasha's face.

' _Where are you? We're coming up with a plan to find Nat.'_ It was Steve. Wanda groaned, "What's up?"

"Vis is just wondering where I am." Wanda lied. "Yeah, no. You're lying. Who is it? And what do they want?" Natasha demanded. "No one." Wanda's voice went squeaky.

"I really need to teach you to lie better." Natasha laughed. Natasha reached over and grabbed Wanda's phone. "Nat! Give it back! Please!" Wanda asked as she ran round the room trying to grab her phone from the Russian spy.

"Why are you texting Steve?" Natasha demanded. "Cos he wants to find you, he misses you."

"No. Get out." Natasha said. "Please, Nat. I won't tell anyone where you are. Please you have to trust me." Wanda begged.

"Get out." Natasha said, tears in her eyes. She'd trusted Wanda. "No! I'm not leaving!" Wanda shouted. "I don't care how much he hurt you, I did nothing! I'm not leaving because you are my bestfriend. You should trust me because I trust you. I already told you that I was not going to tell anyone about what you feel for Steve or where you are! So just fucking trust me already!" Wanda screamed.

Natasha sat down on the bed and put her hands on her head, her shoulders hunched. "I'm sorry. I should've trusted you. I'm sorry. I'll leave." Natasha whispered and got up from the bed.

"No, no. Nat sit back down. I didn't mean to shout but everyone at the compound is worried about you, you need to know that. Clint's especially worried because well you know." Wanda trailed off and Natasha let out a shaky laugh.

"He really wants me to help him with the new dining room/kitchen." Natasha said, and handed Wanda back her phone. "I'm sorry I overreacted." Natasha apologised.

"No, no it's fine." Wanda hugged Natasha and they started to talk about more normal things. ' _Wanda, you coming?'_ Steve texted her again. "I have to go. I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone where you are. Promise. If you move hotels, leave me a note or a text. Just say the name of the hotel. I'll change your contact name." Wanda said as they both walked out of her room.

They said bye and Wanda walked back to the compound.

"Where were you?"

"FRIDAY is malfunctioning, I swear."

"Welcome back, Miss Maximoff." FRIDAY said. "Thanks. Ok so what's the plan?" She asked once everyone was seated around the dining table. She noticed that the entire team's demeanour had changed.

"We don't know. I had an idea but I don't think it will work." Tony said. "Well, what is it?"

"Well, we could give you some truth serum and you could tell us." Tony said sternly. "I don't know where she is, I swear."

"Yeah, sure." Pepper said. "I'm serious!"

"Well, why did you disappear straight after we came up with the idea that we should find Nat?" Maria asked. Wanda tried to control her red" cheeks but failed, slightly. She rubbed her eyes and turned away.

"So then why are you blushing?" Clint asked and walked around the blushing Sokovian. "I'm not." Wanda covered her cheeks and looked at Steve. She smiled at him before walking away from the table and towards the couch.

"You really are a terrible liar. Nat would be disappointed." Steve said as he sat next to her. _She really is disappointed._ Wanda thought to herself before speaking out loud, "Yeah, she probably would be."

"You've spoken to her." Thor said as he stood in front of her. "No, I haven't."

"Wanda, stop lying. Please." Vision asked as he walked in front of her and grabbed her hands. Wanda looked around the room and stared at each person individually.

She could either betray her bestfriend's trust and hurt her a lot and possibly never get her to come back or not tell and try to work alone. Wanda, being the caring girl she is chose the latter.

"I don't know where she is. I promise you, Vis. I could never lie to you." Wanda lied, hoping she was controlling the blush. She really needed to go see Nat again and get better at lying.

Vision stared at her for a bit longer before finally deciding she was telling the truth. "She not lying."

"Thank you." She whispered, she was getting better at lying Natasha would be proud. She looked over at Steve, who was staring at her for a little strangely.

"I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed. Night guys." Wanda said and went upstairs. Once she got to her room, she flopped down on her bed and texted Natasha.

' _They want to know where you are. They think I know.'_

Natasha sighed. Of course they did. Did they not get it? She wanted to be alone, away from them. She needed her space. _'What did you tell them?'_ This was a big thing for Nat, she'd never trusted anyone-apart form Steve- this much. She just hoped Wanda could lie.

' _I lied I told them I had no idea. I need to come over and get better at lying tho. Can I come round?'_ Natasha smiled Wanda was so innocent sometimes.

' _Yeah, I'll tell them that if a young Sokovian girl asks to see me to let her in. Ask for Margaret May tho.'_ Natasha sent back quickly. She looked around the room; it really didn't look like anyone lived here.

She walked out of her room and went to talk to the people at the front desk. "Hi, do you know what room a Miss Romanoff is in?" She heard a familiar voice ask. _Pepper._ Oh well, it could be worse, it could be Steve or- no, she couldn't think of anyone worse than Steve.

"No, I don't." The desk lady said. Natasha was thankful she was either oblivious to who she actually was or she didn't want to blow her cover. Either way, she was thankful.

"Pepper." She whispered and managed to get the CEO's attention. "Meet me round the back. I'll help you up to my room." She whispered and Pepper nodded.

"Sorry. I must have the wrong hotel." Pepper said and walked out of the hotel. Natasha was waiting for her around the back. When Natasha saw Pepper she was pulled into a hug. "Come on. I'll help you up." Natasha said and climbed up the drainpipe and sent a rope down for Pepper to climb.

"Thanks." Pepper said once she up. "Why did the desk lady say you did live here?" 

"Cos I'm not booked under Natasha Romanoff, I'm booked under- wait, why am I telling you this and how did you find out I was here?"

"No one in the entire compound realised that you could just watch the surveillance feed. But I did. I watched it and then deleted it. No one knows where you are, don't worry." Pepper said as she sat down on the bed next to Natasha.

Then, Wanda opened the door and was surprised to see Pepper in the room. "What are you doing here?" They asked at the same time while Natasha just sat there and laughed.

"JARVIS told me where she was."

"I checked the surveillance feed."


	7. Chapter 7

"So now you're here, you can try and help me get our Black Widow, one- back on the team, and two- back to the compound." Wanda asked. Natasha looked between the two women and shook her head. She didn't want to go back to the compound.

"Yeah, no. I'm not going back." She whispered but they ignored her or they didn't hear her. "Nat, please you need to come back." Pepper begged. Wanda just stayed silent and sat on the bed next to the Russian.

Wanda looked at Natasha who shook her head. Natasha sighed, there was no way Pepper was going to listen to her. "Pepper, Nat doesn't want to go back." Wanda said. Pepper looked at her and then Natasha and sighed.

"Ok." Pepper sighed. "Thanks guys." Natasha said and looked at Wanda, whose phone had began to buzz. "It's Steve." She said. "Answer it, but don't stay on long enough for them to be able to trace it. They'll be able to trace the cell tower and from there, they'll trace the nearest hotel. Assuming they assume I'm with you." Natasha explained hurriedly.

"Hi Steve." Natasha sighed. "Put him on speaker." She whispered. However much he had hurt her, she still loved him and missed him like crazy. "Hey Wanda. Before you say anything, I'm alone. I promise. No one in the compound knows I'm calling you."

Wanda looked at Natasha, who mouthed, "He's telling the truth." Wanda nodded. "Ok, I believe you. What's up?"

"Where are you?" Steve asked. Pepper and Wanda looked at Natasha, who nodded. "I'm with."

"Me. They're with me." She said coldly. "Oh, hi Nat." Steve sounded confused. Natasha sighed and lay back on the bed. "Wanda, I thought you said you didn't know where she was?"

"Oh I lied."

"Wow. You're getting better at that."

"Why did you call?" Pepper asked. "Seriously? Nat does everyone know where you are apart from me?"

"No. Only the people I trust the most. You aren't one of them." Natasha could imagine Steve looking downfallen. Natasha looked around and saw Pepper staring at her and Wanda hiding her laugh behind her phone.

Natasha smirked, but it hurt to say, she didn't want to mean it. She still wanted to trust him. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Steve, who are you calling?" They heard Sharon ask.

"None of your business." Steve hissed. Natasha grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest; she didn't want to hear the lovey-dovey conversation. "Oh, come on baby. Tell me." Sharon begged. They heard Steve take a breath over the phone.

"I'm talking Wanda and Pepper so if you could leave us alone that would be great." Natasha was thankful he didn't say her name.

"Oh, ok. For a second I thought you were talking to Natasha. To be honest, I'm so glad she's gone."

"Why?" Steve asked, forgetting he was on the phone by setting it down on the couch. "Why? Are you serious? She is stalking you. I bet she's only here on a mission from the KGB or Red Room. She's probably been sent here from them and her mission is to kill you. She probably left so you could come and find her in a secluded hotel and then, being the broken assassin she is, she would kill you."

Natasha buried her head in the pillow. She didn't want to hear Steve agreeing. Clearly, he'd forgotten that he was calling her. Pepper and Wanda moved to sit next to her. "Do we have to listen to this?" She whispered.

"Sharon, she is not any of those things you've said. She is my bestfriend. She's not working with the enemy, she's not a broken assassin or creepy stalker. I told you this before she left." Pepper and Wanda looked at Natasha, both of whom were smiling slightly.

"What?"

"Sharon just go."

"But, baby."

"No! It's your fault Nat's gone. We're over."

"Why?" Sharon begged. "Why? Because I'm not going to date someone I don't love or even like. And I'm not going to date someone who is being horrible to my bestfriend and make her believe I hate her when I," He paused, not wanting to tell Sharon that he loved Natasha. "When I don't."

Natasha looked at Wanda and Pepper, both of whom were smiling mischievously. She thought through what he had just said, he didn't mean it. He didn't want to say it.

Steve stood there as Sharon slapped him. Well, he half deserved it. "You bitch! I just want to keep you safe, by keeping her away from you! I didn't want you to get her by her!" Sharon shouted. _Where are the other Avengers when you need them?_ Steve thought to himself.

"Sharon! Just shut up! I don't care anymore, I just want my bestfriend back."

"No! You want her back so you can fuck her once and then toss her away!"

Natasha took a sharp intake of breath. Pepper looked at the spy and pulled her into a hug. "It's not true. It's not true." She whispered and comforted her.

"Sharon, shut up! Please dear God! I don't want that! I want her back here, at the compound because she's my bestfriend and I miss her."

Sharon looked around the room and saw Steve's phone lying on the sofa. "What the fuck?! You've been calling Wanda and Pepper the whole time?" Sharon shouted and they all laughed.

Sharon picked up the phone, "Hi Sharon." Natasha said. They heard Sharon gasped and Natasha wanted to release a torment of shouts and insults.

"Sharon, don't hang up. I want to talk to you before you go."

"Sure. As long as you don't come back and you stay away from my man."

"I'm not your man, Sharon. We're over, I thought I told you that."

"Sharon listen. One: I don't give a shit whether he's your man or not but before he was your friend he was mine! Two: How the fuck gave you the right to call me names and shit like that! Three: Don't make me blame and hate Steve when the entire thing is your fault!" Natasha screamed into the phone.

Pepper and Wanda took the phone from her as she made her way to the door. "I'm gonna go slap a bitch." Natasha whispered and Wanda laughed. "Ok, we'll keep her talking."

"See you back at the compound." Natasha said and slipped out of the room. She hailed a cab and made her way back to the compound. She slipped through the halls and shushed FRIDAY when she tried to welcome her back.

"Don't tell anyone I'm back. I want to talk to Steve before everyone else knows."

She walked into the common living space and saw Sharon still on the phone, screaming and shouting at Pepper, Wanda and Steve. Steve spotted her but she shook her head, and he smiled brightly at her.

"Hi Sharon." She said and Sharon turned around. She smiled and Natasha walked up to her. "Don't talk to me again." She hissed and slapped Sharon around the face.


	8. Chapter 8

"What the hell?!" Sharon hissed and placed her hand on her face. Natasha raised her eyebrows questioning, she looked over at Steve whose eyes had gone wide and he was gapping.

"What do you mean?"

"What the fuck was that for?" Sharon hissed and tried to punch Natasha but she blocked it.

"You don't get to say that, I do! You made me hate Steve, you hurt the both of us!" Nat shouted, tears filling her eyes but she blinked them away before anyone noticed. She heard FRIDAY welcome Wanda and Pepper back. Thank God, she had back up now.

"Hey, did you do it?" Wanda asked as she sat down on the couch next to Natasha. Natasha nodded and the four of them watched Sharon scuttle out of the room. Pepper started to laugh before she grabbed Wanda's hand and dragged her away, but not before giving Natasha a pointed look that said, 'Talk to him. Apologise.'

Natasha looked around awkwardly after Pepper and Wanda had left. "Uh, hi." Steve said. _This is awkward._ Nat thought. She wanted to run and hug him, and kiss him and apologise but she couldn't.

"Hi. Look, I'm sorry. I-I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry." She looked down at the floor and bit her lower lip. She wanted to tell him she loved him but something stopped her. Did he love her back? Or did he just break up with Sharon because he liked someone else, someone that wasn't her?

"You don't need to apologise. It's fine. I'm sorry I didn't come to find you. I should've done that. I'm sorry." Steve seemed to find his voice as he continued. "I never thought that Sharon was capable of such things. I thought she was normal, or not horrible or possessive like so many of the girls here at SHIELD." He looked at her as she lowered herself into one of the seats.

"No, it's fine. It's understandable; she hides behind the perfect blonde mask. I wish I could hide behind that."

"You don't need to. Your beautiful as you are." Steve mumbled under his breath. Natasha strained to hear but she couldn't.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing." He said quickly. Natasha got up from her seat and walked over to him. She felt the need to hug him. She stopped in front of him.

Steve looked down at her and smiled, the past couple of days forgotten. "I'm sorry." She whispered before burying her head in his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

He kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her waist. In that moment he nearly told her he loved her, but since he didn't know if she loved him back it would just be awkward.

Natasha looked up and stared into his eyes, she could see something in them. Something she never thought she would see, was it love?

"Nat?" Sam asked as he walked into the common room. They both pulled away from each other and Nat waved at him.

"Hi." She said as he walked up to hug her.

"You came back."

"Well done for stating the obvious."

"I missed your sarcasm." Sam said as they broke away.

"I missed you too." She said and walked away to sit on the sofa, "I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I don't know what cam over me. I'm sorry." She apologised again and again but both men just shrugged it off.

"Natasha. It's fine. Don't worry." Steve said and he just wanted to hug her and kiss her.

"It's Nat."

"Huh?"

"Nat. Call me Nat. Can we please just forget what just happened?" She asked and walked over to grab a glass of water.

"Sure. It's already forgotten." Steve said and stole her spot on the sofa. Natasha turned around, glass of water in hand, and saw him sitting there, smirking smugly.

"Hey! I was sitting there." Natasha said and stood in front of him. She put her glass down on the table before placing her hands on her hips. "Get up."

"No. You got up. I'm just taking what I want."

"Jee, you really sound very evil." Natasha flopped down next to him. She grabbed the remote and began flick through channels.

Soon after she settled something for them to watch her eyes began to droop. Steve checked his phone and saw that it wasn't that long till midnight.

"Nat?" He began to shake her gently but to no avail. "Nat, come on wake up." She stirred briefly and wrapped her arms his waist. Steve froze briefly before he picked her up.

After he'd placed her in her bed, he kissed her forehead and walked towards the door. "Night Nat." He whispered and slipped out of the door.

* * *

Natasha jolted awake, shivering and sobbing from her previous nightmare. She sat in her bed, pulling the covers over her knees.

She didn't think she could wake Steve, since he had only just forgiven her for being a jerk. So instead she just sat in her bed, drenched in sweat and sobbing from her nightmares.

It was the early hours of the morning when she heard a knock on the door and someone say her name. She ignored them but then the door opened and someone walked in.

"Hey Nat, oh my. Are you ok?" Wanda asked as she walked into the room, cereal in hand.

"I couldn't sleep. Sorry Wanda." Natasha said as she got out of the bed.

"It's fine, we were just wondering where you were." Wanda said and handed her the bowl of cereal. Natasha thanked her and took the bowl of cereal.

She sat down on her couch and began to eat. "So, you looking forward to your birthday?"

"Yeah, it's gonna be fun. What are we doing for it?"

"Not telling."

"Come on Natasha! That's unfair." Wanda whined and began to beg for answers.

"All I'll tell you is that it involves a lot of alcohol." Natasha said with a laugh and Wanda groaned.

"I'll leave you to get ready for the long and painful day." Wanda joked and walked out of the room.

"Ok, bye."


	9. Chapter 9

Steve walked through the compound to the training area. Today was the day, Wanda's party. Natasha had been back for a couple of weeks and things were back to normal. Apart from the fact that he knew Natasha still had nightmares but didn't come to see him.

Speaking of his favourite red head agent, she was meant to be helping him train everyone today. "FRIDAY? Where is Agent Romanoff?"

"She's still in her quarters. She seems to be in a bit of trouble."

"What kind of trouble?!" Steve asked, slightly concerned, was somebody attacking her?

"She is having a nightmare but doesn't want to bother anyone."

"Ok, thank you FRIDAY." Steve said and began to run to Natasha's room.

He knocked on the door and heard soft sobs. "Nat?" No answer. "Natasha?" He pushed the door open and found that she was still asleep, but was thrashing around.

Steve walked to her bed and sat beside her before whispering her name. He took her shoulders in his hands and began to shake her gently.

Natasha forced her eyes open when she felt someone shaking her shoulders. She saw a pair of worried baby blue eyes and instantly felt a little less scared.

Steve helped her up and she wrapped her arms around him, and began to sob.

"Hey, hey. Ssh, Ssh. You're ok, I'm here." He whispered into her hair.

Natasha pulled away from him and stood up on wobbly legs. She walked to the other side of her room and wrapped her arms around herself. "Sorry. I'll get ready for training."

"Nat, you need to talk to someone about this. Please, for me?" Steve begged. He was really worried about her she needed help.

Natasha saw the pleading look in his eyes and gave in. "Fine." She said reluctantly.

"Thank you." Steve said and walked up to her. He pulled her into a hug again and this time they stayed like that for a while. "I'll leave you to get ready for training." Steve said and walked out of the room.

Natasha stood there and walked towards her wardrobe. She was surprised Steve wanted her to talk to someone; everyone else that knew just kind of went along with it, as if it was no big deal.

She changed quickly and sprinted to the training area. She stopped at the door and saw Steve training Wanda whilst Vision and Sam fighting each other.

She walked over and stopped in front of a punching bag. Nobody seamed to notice that she was there as they were all to busy training with each other. She began to punch the bag to let her feels about her nightmare out and waited for them to notice her.

After a while she felt the sounds of blows landing around her fade. She took it into account but didn't act on it. She spun around when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Nat?"

Her eyes darted around the training room and she saw that it was just her and Steve. She let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding in.

"Natasha, are you ok?"

"Where are the others?"

"I sent them back. We were all worried about you." Steve said and grabbed her wrists lightly. They both looked down at them and saw that she was bleeding slightly.

"Come on. Let's get you patched up." Steve said.

Natasha nodded blankly and they walked up to her room. She sat down on her bed and let him clean the small cuts she had on her fingers and knuckles.

"Natasha, talk to me. Please?"

"I thought you wanted me to talk to someone, you never said I had to talk to you." She said with a small smile.

"Ok, fine. You don't have to talk to me." He admitted, a bit disgruntled about the fact she didn't want to trust him.

"Hey, I'm only joking." She studied his face and smiled slightly when she saw his baby blue eyes. "I'll tell you when I'm ready. I promise."

Steve looked into her eyes and saw she was serious. "Ok, thank you."

"How long was I in there?"

"Half an hour. We tried calling your name but you wouldn't answer. Wanda used her magic and saw that you had a lot on your mind; mostly to do with the Red Room and something else she wouldn't tell me. I thought it was best we left you alone."

"Oh, ok. Thank you." Natasha hugged him again. "I-I"

"Nat?" Wanda's head appeared round her door. "Shit, I, sorry." Wanda rushed out of her room.

Steve looked down at Natasha and saw frustration in her eyes. "Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah. I just remembered I have to call Pepper and Maria so I can finish planning Wanda's party." Natasha said, she was going to tell him how she felt and then Wanda came in and ruined it. Well, she was kind of glad, she knew how she felt, but what if Steve didn't feel the same?

"Ok. I'll leave you to it." Steve said and walked out of her room.

Natasha sighed and grabbed her phone.

"Hey Nat."

"Hi Romanoff."

"Hey Pepper, hi Hill. I need you guys to come meet me in my room. I very nearly fucked up."

"Sure. We'll be there in half an hour. We also need to discuss Wanda's party."

"Sure. Bye." 

"Bye Nat." Hill and Pepper said before they all hung up.

 **A/N: Hi guys! It's the Easter hols at the moment so I well try to update more frequently than once a century. Anyways, thanks for reading me pretty bad stories!**


	10. Chapter 10

Natasha, Pepper and Maria were busy setting up the bar for Wanda's party. "Are you ever gonna tell Steve how you feel?" Pepper asked.

"Yes, no. I don't know." Natasha said and placed the rest of the presents on one of the tables. "What if he doesn't feel the same?"

"Nat, he does. He told me he loves you right after you left." Maria said and handed Natasha a drink.

"He probably doesn't mean it." Natasha whispered and hoped over the bar to arrange the drinks.

"You sure. He's always the one to check up on you. He told me he loves you and he wants you to get help about your nightmares. If that doesn't say that he loves you, then I don't know what does." Maria shouted over the bar.

"Really- FUCK." She shouted as she moved her head up to quickly and hit her head on the bar edge.

"You ok Nat?" Pepper said as they finished the decorations.

"Yeah." She rubbed her head and felt a little bit of blood. "It's all done. Let's go get ready and meet back down here." Natasha suggested and hopped over the bar.

They all nodded and run up to their rooms. Natasha went to the kitchen and got a paper towel and put it against the cut on her head.

"Nat? Are you ok?" Great, just great. Of course he had to see her like this.

She turned sharply, "Yeah. I'm ok, just a cut on the back of my head." She removed the towel and saw blood. Steve must've noticed it too because he ran up and placed the towel back on the cut. "Steve, I'm fine."

"Let me just see the cut and then I'll leave you be." Steve said and began parting her hair. Natasha sighed inaudibly. "I found the cut, it's not too big, you'll be fine." Steve said.

Natasha stepped away quickly, "Thanks. We should go get ready for Wanda's party."

"Ok." 

"It starts at 7:30, and finishes well whenever." Natasha said hurriedly and ran up to her room. She slammed her door and rested her forehead against it. She checked her phone and saw it was 6:30.

She put her hair into a bun with a few strands hanging down her face and put on some makeup. She put on black jeans with a red off the shoulder top.

"Agent Romanoff?"

"Yes FRIDAY?"

"Miss Maximoff would like you to come down to her floor and help her choose some clothes." The AI said.

Natasha slipped on a pair of black and red heels, "Ok, tell her I'll be down in a couple of minutes." Natasha walked out of her room and towards Wanda's.

She knocked on the door and called her name, "Wanda, honey, you ok?"

"Yeah, just help me on what to wear." Wanda called and opened the door.

Natasha walked in and saw Wanda lying on her bed in a towel. She laughed but stopped when Wanda scowled. "Help me, I don't even know what we're doing so I have no idea how to dress." She whined.

Natasha walked to the girls closet and pulled out a pair of blue ripped jeans. "Ok, put those on to start and I'll find a top to go with it." She ruffled through the closet and finally pulled out a camo mesh top.

She threw the top to Wanda; "I'm going to grab a jacket for you. I'll be back." Natasha walked out of the room and bumped into someone on her way up. "Sorry." She said and continued on her journey.

She got to her room and slammed the door, hoping to put a wall between her and the person she bumped into. She rummaged in her closet and removed a scarlet leather jacket that she bought for the girls birthday.

She opened her door and the stalker was still there. "What do you want Sharon?" Natasha asked as she pushed past her.

"Stay away from Steve."

Natasha sighed and walked quicker to Wanda's room. "Jesus, you gonna stalk me this entire time?" Natasha called as she got to the elevator. "By the way, you aren't coming to the party." Natasha shouted as the elevator doors closed.

She reached Wanda's floor and rushed out. She pushed the door open and saw Wanda curling her hair. "You look beautiful." Natasha said, feeling like a proud mother.

"Thanks." Wanda turned around and saw the jacket Natasha was holding. It was a scarlet jacket with the same pattern as Pietro's when they first met. 

"You like it?" Natasha asked.

"Yes, thank you so much Nat! Thank you!" Wanda said as tears slipped from her eyes.

"Happy Birthday Wanda." Nat said and handed her the jacket.

"Thanks Nat." Wanda said and put on the jacket. "Should be go?"

"Yeah, come on." They opened the door and saw Sharon still standing there.

"Happy Birthday Wanda." The blonde spat out. "Natasha, stay away from my man."

"He's not your man, you broke up a couple of weeks ago." Natasha said, the hint of a smile on her face. She grabbed Wanda's hand and they got in the elevator.

"Please tell Steve how you feel." Wanda begged once they were in the elevator.

Natasha turned to her, "Why do you want us together so much?" Natasha pressed the button for the 13th floor.

"Because, I can sense how much you guys love each other. You're both to stubborn to do something and I really want you both to be happy." Wanda explained.

"I don't like you being wise and only 18." Natasha said and they got out of the elevator.

Wanda laughed, "Well… I can read minds." Wanda smirked.

"Oh do shut up! I know it's your birthday but please be discreet if we're gonna talk about Steve at your party." Natasha begged.

"Fine."

Natasha saw Wanda smirk and she began to worry what the scarlet witch had planned. "Remember, tonight is your night. Do not try anything." Natasha warned.

She took Wanda's hand and led her into the bar.

"Happy Birthday!" Everyone screamed.


	11. Chapter 11

"Happy Birthday Wanda." Steve said as he hugged her. The party was well underway and everyone was slightly tipsy.

"Thanks Steve." Wanda said. "Can I speak to you?" She asked and grabbed Steve's arm to take him out to the balcony.

Natasha saw Wanda drag Steve out by the arm and she groaned. "What are you doing?" She whispered to herself before downing another shot or two of vodka.

"What did you want to talk about?" Steve asked and leant against the wall.

"Natasha." Wanda said and watched the red head drink even more vodka. "FRIDAY, please stop Agent Romanoff drinking. I don't want her drunk until everyone else is as drunk as she is, Tony excluded."

"Yes Miss Maximoff." The AI said.

"Look." Steve said and pointed to where Natasha was arguing with the wall as to why all the alcohol mysteriously disappeared.

They both laughed and quickly looked away when Natasha whipped her head around and saw them. "Speak quickly, why are we talking about Nat?"

"You need to tell her how you feel. Please Steve, she told me not to do anything but I want you guys together. It'll." Wanda begged him until Natasha approached them.

"How much vodka have you had?" Steve asked as she stumbled into his arms.

"Lots, and lots, and lots." She whispered and slung her arms around his neck. She traced the baby hairs on the back of his neck and hugged him.

"It'll be the best present ever." Wanda's voice floated through his head. She smirked and walked inside.

Steve looked down and saw the little space between him and Natasha. His breathing quickened as he felt Natasha slump against him. "Nat?" He whispered. He looked down and saw that she had very nearly fallen asleep on his chest.

He turned to look into the party and saw all the party guests looking at him. Tony put his hands together in the shape of the heart and raised an eyebrow. Everyone else was laughing.

"Oh shut it!" He whisper hissed and felt Natasha look up at him.

"What did I say?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

Steve shook his head and glared at Tony, who had gone back to partying, along with everyone else. "Nothing, nothing. Don't worry."

"I thought I said something to hurt you." She whispered before smiling, "Do you have any vodka. FRIDAY took it away from me." She grabbed his hand and pulled him back inside.

"Did you do it?" Wanda asked as she came to walk next to him.

"Did he do what?" Natasha turned around and stared at them. "Did he find me more alcohol? No. Did he help me find the alcohol? No."

"Nat, you've had enough." Steve said and wrapped his hand around her arm.

"Please, Steve, please." She begged and cupped his face.

"Fine, go sit over there and talk to Tony. I'll come back with more vodka." Steve said and removed her fingers from his face.

Natasha walked over and lay on the couch and looked around. Most of the guests had left, leaving just the Avengers and a couple of shield agents who Wanda was good friends with. Everyone was equally drunk.

Steve found an empty bottle of vodka, courtesy of Tony, and filled it with water. He turned around and saw everyone teasing Natasha because of something.

He walked over to the group, "I have vodka." He whispered in her ear once he had sat down.

Natasha turned to him and her eyes lit up. "Yay! Gimme gimme!" She hugged the vodka bottle tightly and smiled happily and Steve couldn't help but wish it was him she was hugged ever so tightly.

"Games!" Tony shouted and pulled out a long list of who's most likely to questions. "You have to take as many shots as the people who point at you. So, if 5 of us point at little red than she has to take five shots." Tony exclaimed.

"There's no vodka in this, you liar!" Natasha said and threw the bottle at Steve.

"Nat, calm down." Pepper said and walked over to get three bottles of vodka, but held them close to her. "I'll give everyone the appropriate amount of shots."

"Ok, I'll start, who's most likely to be secretly dating a fellow team mate?" Tony asked.

Natasha, Steve, Pepper and Clint pointed to Wanda. Wanda, Vision and Thor pointed to Sam. Rhodey pointed to Maria and Maria pointed to Vision. Tony pointed to all four.

"So, are we right or wrong?" Pepper asked and handed everyone their shots.

"Maria and I aren't dating." Sam said, "But I can't say the same about those two." He laughed as he took his three shots.

"Miss Maximoff and I are not dating." Vision said accepted his drinks.

Natasha looked over at Vision and then to Wanda, who was sitting next to her. She could see something, some kind of longing coming from the girl's eyes, at the AI. She laughed quietly before leaning back onto the couch.

After a couple more rounds, and everyone equally drunk, spare Steve and Pepper, Natasha suggested they play a different game.

"Why don't we do presents instead?" Pepper asked and Wanda nodded eagerly.

"Maria, you want to help, Nat? If your both not to drunk." She added.

"Let's go! Let's get the present!" Natasha shouted and stumbled up.

"Wanda, open the others while we're out. The one we're bringing is the best." Pepper said and kissed her cheek as the three women left.

"Once we've given Wanda her present." Pepper said as they walked out of the bar, "You, Natasha are going to ask Steve out."

"Maybe, I want him but I don't want to ruin our friendship." She whispered.

"Please do it Nat, please, please." Maria begged as they walked down to the lab.

Natasha shook her head, a headache emerging as the alcohol wore off due to her watered down serum. She walked into the lab and called Fury's name.

"He's good. I told him what happened." Fury said as he emerged.

"And what happened with Coulson won't happen again?" Maria asked.

"It won't. They briefed me just now. TAHITI was not a nice place. I won't go crazy, I promise." A new voice joined their conversation.

"Good to see you Pietro. Thanks for saving the world." Natasha said as she embraced the newly alive Maximoff twin.

"Let's go see Wanda." Pietro said and the three girls walked back to the bar with him.

When they got back to the bar, Tony and Clint were close to being passed out on the couch, Wanda was mixing herself a drink, and everyone else was playing karaoke, whilst Steve was watching the scene with an amused glint in her eye.

Natasha looked over at Pietro who ran and stole Wanda's newly mixed drink. "Hey!" She shouted, her eyes scanning the room.

"Rude! How could you not mix your brother a drink on his birthday?" Pietro asked.

"Pietro!" Wanda cried and ran into her brother's arms.

"Happy birthday, both of you." Natasha said and walked over to the bar and stole a bottle of vodka. She walked back over and sunk down against Steve. "How long have they been doing this?" She asked and took a swig of her drink.

"Since you left, Tony and Clint passed out five minutes ago." Steve explained and reached for the bottle.

"No, mine." She hissed and sipped from the bottle. She looked up at Steve before looking back at the karaoke scene.

Steve looked around the party room not half an hour later; everyone was passed out or had gone up to bed. Natasha was asleep on the couch, her side pressed against his legs.

He wriggled out of his spot and walked around the room, trying to put the rest of the avengers into their rooms. He came back down and found Natasha whimpering.

"Nat, Nat. It's just me, calm down." He whispered and gently picked her up. She relaxed in his arms and Steve found himself smiling. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before carrying her up to her room.

Natasha blinked her eyes open just as Steve opened the door so he could leave. "Please stay with me." She whispered and sat up.

"Ok. Ssh, ssh." He said, "Let me go and get some clothes and I'll be back, I promise." He told her and kissed her hair before walking out.

Natasha changed into one of Steve's shirts she stole from him on a mission a couple of years ago before laying back down. She was already half asleep when Steve slipped in besides her.

"Goodnight Natasha."

"Goodnight Steve." She whispered and pecked his lips before falling asleep.

Steve lay in her bed confused, was she still drunk and kissed him for the fun of it or did she actually like him back? He thought it over until he fell into a troubled sleep.

 **A/N: So, I started this book a nearly a year ago and I don't seem to have progressed the story and I have not been updating as quickly as I should so I am going to take a break from this story for a while, unless anyone that readers this doesn't want me to.**


	12. Chapter 12

Natasha awoke with a bitch of a headache. She knew she had done something stupid but she didn't know what. She felt an arm slung round her waist. She knew exactly who's it was; Steve's.

"Are you awake?" She said and turned in his arms, her head on his chest. She looked up and saw he was looking at her curiously.

He sat up and pulled away from her, leaving her slightly hurt. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

Natasha studied him before answering, "Bits and pieces. I know I got drunk, very drunk, if this headache is anything to go by. There was karaoke, and Pietro."

"Is that all?" Steve asked, disappointment and relief an unwelcome mixture on his face.

"Yes. I can tell by your face I did something stupid. What was it?"

"It's nothing." Steve said and looked down, away from her captivating eyes. He began to debate what to do about last night, he could tell her or he could act on it.

"Please Steve. I'm sorry if I hurt you." Natasha said and got out of her bed. She moved to her bathroom and changed out of her outfit from last night.

Once she was changed she walked out of the bathroom and saw Steve with his head in his hands. "Steve? Hey, are you ok?" She asked and hurried over to him.

"So you don't remember anything important? You don't remember what you did last night before you went to bed?!" Steve exclaimed and shot up from the bed.

Natasha flinched and looked up at Steve. "No. Steve, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry if I did something to hurt you. If I did something you didn't want I'm so sorry, please believe me." She begged and cupped his face.

"You didn't, I just, never mind." Steve said and shook off her hands. He walked out of her room without even so much as a goodbye.

"Steve!" Natasha shouted and ran out of her room. She looked up and down the corridor and saw that none of Avengers were awake.

She followed him to his room and barged into the room. "What did I do?!" She cried, "Please tell me! I can't loose you to a stupid mistake from when I was drunk!" She sobbed, tears slipping down her cheeks and onto the floor.

"You kissed me! OK?! You kissed me and then fell asleep and I had no idea whether you did it because you were drunk or because you actually loved me!" Steve shouted and stepped away from her as she stepped closer.

"I wanted you to remember it because I wanted you to mean it! I wanted you to mean it because I love you! I wanted you to love me back, I wanted you to feel the same." Steve shouted and turned his back on her, tears in his eyes.

Natasha shook her head and walked up behind him. She remembered now, she had said goodnight, kissed him and fallen asleep. She placed her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind. "I meant it, I wanted to kiss you." She whispered and buried her head in his back.

Steve's eyes widened and he turned to face her, her arms around his neck and his arms around her waist. "You meant it?" He asked in disbelief.

Natasha laughed tearfully, "Yes. Steve I love you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She whispered and hugged him tightly.

Steve pulled away and pressed his lips against hers. "I love you too." He said once they broke the kiss. "I'm sorry for shouting, I just."

"It's fine." She whispered and hugged him again. "I think the others as still asleep or are too hung over to get out of bed. Should we eat?"

Steve laughed and nodded. He took her hand and they walked downstairs together.

Natasha dropped his hand when they entered the dining room and walked over to the stove. "What do you want? Eggs or pancakes?" She smiled happily.

"Eggs please." Steve said and watched her make breakfast. "You know, the others are probably too ill to get up and do anything today so we might have the entire compound to ourselves."

"Wanda, Vision and Pietro will probably be up soon, as will Pepper. Should we do any training with the awake ones?" She asked and placed the eggs on toast in front of him.

"Why don't we go on a date?" Steve smirked and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Yeah, you know. Now that I think about it, I don't want to date you!" Natasha said with a laugh.

"Nat! What are you doing! He just asked you out on a date, why aren't you saying yes?" Wanda shouted and walked into the dining hall. "Steve, she'd love to go on a date with you."

"Wanda, he knows." Natasha laughed and smiled at the young witch.

"How? I want to know everything." Wanda said as she sat down. Stealing Natasha breakfast, who then stole Steve's breakfast, she looked expectantly at the couple.

"Last night, she was so drunk and I had to take her to bed." Steve explained, a smile on his face as Natasha reached for his hand. "She said goodnight and then kissed me. Then this little asshole fell asleep. You left me wondering all night." Steve said.

"I'm very sorry that I left you wondering but if I hadn't gotten that drunk, we never would've gotten together as quickly."

Wanda pushed her breakfast into the middle of the table and walked around to hug both Natasha and Steve. "I'm so happy for you, you both deserve a win." She whispered before leaving the dining hall

"Are we going to tell the team?" Steve asked as they walked to the common area.

"We could." Natasha said as she laid her head in Steve's lap once they'd sat down. "Or we could wait for them to realise it while we go out on dates and stuff."

"I like that idea, we could bet in how realises it first and last." Steve said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Who knew you had such an evil side?" Natasha chuckled a hand over her mouth. "So, where are we going on this date?"

"How about a park? We could have a picnic or something." Steve suggested, for the first time today, vey unsure of himself.

"A park and a picnic sounds great." Natasha said and kissed him. "But I don't want to go right now. I want to lay here for a bit."

"Of course." Steve said and they began to sit in comfortable silence.

 **A/N: So, they're together! And they're going on a date! What did you guys think of this chapter?**


	13. Chapter 13

"I love you sweetheart." Steve said as they lay on the picnic blanket idly fiddling with the others fingers.

"I love you too." She said and brought his hand over to her mouth so she could press kisses to it. She moved around so her head was resting on his chest. "Why me?" She asked and looked up into is eyes.

"Huh?"

"Out of all the girls you could've picked, you picked me, and I'm so thankful and happy for that but why me? Over everyone else, what makes me so special?" She knew how much blood she had spilt, and how dark she was inside. She didn't deserve is him but she knew he felt differently.

"Because I love you. You are so above other girls, you're sweet, and loving, and caring, and kind, and everything I know you think you're not. You're also beautiful and cute and sexy. You didn't deserve anything that happened to you in the Red Room and you don't deserve to not be able to get a full night's sleep every night. So that is why I chose you over the other girls, because I love you and I think the world of you." He told her and sat up to lean down and kiss her.

Natasha quickly wiped tears from her eyes, causing them both to laugh. "I love you too." She whispered and smiled up at him. "Were you serious about what you said a couple of says ago, that you would go to therapy with me?" She asked in a small voice.

"Yes. I want to help you." He told her as they began to pack up their lunch. "Do you want to tell me what happens in your nightmares? You don't have to." He added quickly as she looked down at her feet.

Natasha linked her arm with his and they began walking back to the tower. She laid her head on his shoulder and looked back at him, "You watch, they make you stand there whilst they inject stuff into me. You have to watch me become a killing machine. They force me to watch them torture. You have to watch me become a monster." 

"I'm so sorry, love. You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to, but thank you for trusting me." Steve whispered as they walked into a small coffee shop to get coffee for everyone.

Natasha nodded and wiped her eyes. "I think I'll sleep better if you stay with me tonight?" She asked in a small voice, uncertain of herself.

"Of course. Of course I'll stay with you." He whispered and turned to the barista to order the coffee for themselves and their friends.

"So, where were you this morning?" Tony asked as he spun around in an office chair.

"We didn't want to wake you so we went for a walk and to get coffee for all of you." Natasha said and scowled at Tony when he raised an eyebrow.

"You brought coffee, you actual saviour!" Maria exclaimed and rushed into the room to take the coffee from Steve's hands. "Thank you Steve."

Natasha walked over to the couch and flopped down on it. "You guys got hangovers?" She asked with a smirk, one of the upsides to having a watered down serum was that she recovered from hangovers quicker.

"Yes and now shut up Romanoff." Maria hissed ad took a sip from her coffee.

"Are you two the only people awake?" Steve asked before shutting the door quickly.

"Yes, I think so. What's with the door slam?" Tony asked.

"Sharon." Steve said simply and walked over to the couch where Natasha was looking worried. He sat next to her and she leant her head on his shoulder.

Maria and Tony looked at them suspiciously before turning to the door when it opened. Wanda, Vision and the newly alive Pietro walked into the room.

"There's coffee over there." Natasha said and waved in the direction of the island. "Pietro, there's also aspirin in the top drawer." She said as the boy put his hand on his head.

"How come we didn't get told about this?" Maria asked.

"Because you are not back from the dead." She snapped with a smirk and took a sip from her coffee.

Eventually every avenger was awake and they were all seated around the couch, listening to Clint complaining about his hangover. "It feels like I have a million little knives stabbing me in the brain."

"Clint, everyone has a hangover, get over it." Wanda snapped, her own hangover making her grumpy.

"Everyone just please shut up!" Tony exclaimed, for once the voice of reason. "Let's just relax and watch some TV of something."

"I like Tony with a hangover, he's smart." Natasha whispered in Steve's ear and he had to suppress a snort of laughter. She laughed quietly before leaning her head onto his chest.

Wanda, who was sitting next to Natasha, squeezed her knee and smiled at her. "I'm happy for you." She whispered when the TV got loud.

"Thank you Wanda, I'm happy that we managed to get Pietro back for you." She whispered. "Also, what's going on with you and Vis?"

"Nothing." Wanda said, way to quickly, "Natasha, seriously."

Natasha smirked before looking over at Vision who was looking over at the two girls. "Yeah, I don't know about that."

"Nat, stop."

"Natasha, stop torturing my sister. You're a master spy and its obvious you're right." Pietro hissed.

Wanda elbowed him before glaring at both Natasha and her brother.

"Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to watch." Tony asked, "Wait a second. FRIDAY pause the TV." He exclaimed and looked at Steve and Natasha, who quickly moved further apart, thankfully none of the other Avengers had seen them.

"Tony, put it back on." Clint complained and made a grab for the remote.

"What's going on between you two?" Tony asked and gestured towards Natasha and Steve.

Natasha looked towards Steve, who just shrugged non-chalantly and raised an eyebrow at he, as if to say 'your choice'. "Stark, there's nothing going on. Steve just got out of a relationship, and I'm not looking for one right now."

Steve smiled at her before moving even closer to the arm of the sofa. He gave her a wink that went unnoticed which she had to admit; she was surprised that no one noticed it because Steve was not always the subtlest of people.

"What are we eating for lunch?" Wanda asked, trying to divert the attention from the secret couple. "Me and Nat could go get it."

"What's the best hangover food? Stark, you should know this." Rhodey asked.

"Haha, Rhodey." He laughed sarcastically before adding, a little more quietly, "Chinese. Especially chicken."

"Ok, come on Nat. We're getting Chinese." Wanda said and pulled her off the sofa. She then pulled Steve off the sofa and pulled them towards the door. "We'll be back in an hour." She said before they walked out of the tower.

Natasha linked her arms with both Steve and Wanda as they left the tower, for once happy that she had something to live for.


	14. Chapter 14

Steve awoke to find Natasha flailing her arms around and whimpering. He moved around and pulled her closer to him. "Nat, baby. It's ok, it's ok." He whispered and rocked her against him until she woke up.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She cried and pulled him closer. "Your alive, you're still here."

"Don't apologise." He whispered and kissed her forehead. He leant back against the pillows and she rested against his bare chest. He drew circles on her stomach with his fingers and let her calm down against his chest. "Do you want to tell me?"

"I killed you. The Red Room made me do it I didn't have a choice. They brainwashed me." She whispered and rested her head just above his heart, listening to his heartbeat, trying to reassure herself he was still alive.

"I'm still alive sweetheart, I'm still here. The Red Room is behind you. You're better than the Red Room. You're here, with me. In the Avengers compound, surrounded by your friends and family. You're safe." Steve kissed her forehead before carrying her to the bathroom.

He began to help her wash because her hands were still shaking. He washed the soap off her and held her tightly after he had wrapped her in a towel.

"I'm sorry Steve." She whispered and interlaced her fingers with his. "I'm sorry I killed you in my nightmare." She said with a shaky laugh. She moved closer to him and pressed her lips against his.

"You don't need to apologise." He whispered against her lips. He kissed her again and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Natasha broke the kiss and stared into his eyes lovingly. "Please, please accept it. I need to hear you say it so I can forgive myself for even thinking it. Please." She begged in a shaky voice and rested her head against his chest.

"I forgive you, love. It's ok. It's not your fault." Steve kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms tighter around her towel-clad body.

"I love you." She leaned up and kissed him lightly, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He whispered between kisses. He broke the kisses and placed her on the bed. He wiped her eyes one more time before moving off the bed and over to his wardrobe.

He pulled out two of his tops and a pair of sweatpants. He handed her one of the tops and changed into the other clothes.

Natasha pulled the top on and wrapped her arms around herself. She rested her head on her propped up knees and stared at her boyfriend.

Steve walked over to her and helped her up. "You need breakfast, and a drink." He took her waist and helped her to the elevator.

"Shorts." She giggled and ran into her room and slipped on some shorts before walking back out to meet Steve.

"Better?"

"Yeah." She laughed and held his hand again. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked up into his eyes.

"We should probably do some training later. We've given them the week off." Steve said as they entered the dining hall.

"Way to spoil the mood. With work talk." Natasha laughed and stole some toast from Tony's plate. She sat down next to Tony and pulled Steve down to sit next to her. "I also think I should talk to someone. I've had enough nightmares in the past couple of days and I feel bad for waking you up every time." 

Tony's head swivelled around and he looked at the couple, "How have you been waking Steve up, Little Miss Red?" He stared to the two expectantly.

"None of your business." Natasha snapped and took a bite from her toast.

Steve placed a hand on her arm and gave her a puppy dog look, telling her to calm down.

She took a deep breath and placed her hand on top of his. She leant her head on his arm and handed him her phone. "Can you call that number for me? Please? I don't want to have to talk to them." She begged.

Steve nodded and kissed her forehead before walking to the corner of the room. He dialled the number and waited for the office to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Dr Xavier's office?"

"Yes, this is me. How can I help you?"

"I was wondering if you do treatment for nightmares based on past events that have happened in someone's life?" Steve asked and looked back over at Natasha who was laughing with Tony, but her eyes were on him. 

"Yes, I do. May I ask who's calling?"

"Steve Rogers, on behalf of Natasha Romanoff. Is there a way we could both come in?"

"Of course, that's fine. Let me check my availability." The Dr said and there was a pause in which Natasha walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest.

"You can come and see me on Friday at 11:00. Miss Romanoff is booked in and you can come as well."

"Thank you, goodbye." Steve said and hung up the phone. He turned and handed Natasha her phone back. "Friday at 11:00."

She nodded and rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Thank you."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her back to their table.

"What was that all about?" Tony asked with a smirk, but it quickly faded when he saw how upset Natasha was. "Are you ok?" He added sympathetically and placed a hand on Natasha's.

"I'll be fine. Nightmares and Steve's helping me through them." She said, her voice dipping up and down. She looked up at Steve and smiled softly.

"Why are we just hearing about this now Natasha? We could have been getting you help earlier?" Tony asked, his eyes holding a pressuring glare.

"I don't know. It never seemed like a big deal, so I haven't slept properly since before the Red Room, so what? It didn't seem like a big deal. I was never worth it in the Red Room. I didn't think I was worth it here." She looked at Tony with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry Nat, I shouldn't have pried." Tony said and got up from the table, leaving the couple alone.

Steve turned to Natasha and pulled her closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the stares they got, and kissed her temple. "It's ok, sweetheart."

"Steve, I'm ok. I'm ok, I love you." She whispered and got up from the table.

Steve followed her and they walked to the common room together. "I love you too." He whispered and sat down next to her on the sofa, watching TV.

 **A/N: Writers block, that's why this chapter took so long to posts.**


	15. Chapter 15

Steve jolted awake when Natasha began to scream. He moved so he was hugged her close to him. "Nat. It's ok, it's just me and you. Shush." He whispered until her screams had subsided into whimpers.

He sat up so she was cradled in his lap. He curled himself around her protectively and calmed her so she was silent. He kissed her forehead before running his fingers through her hair.

Steve laid her down again on the bed before climbing out and going into the bathroom.

"Steve!" Natasha screamed and jolted awake. She looked around the dark room and saw Steve wasn't there. Her breathing quickened and tears sprung from her eyes. "Steve?! Steve? No, no, no." She whimpered and buried her face in her hands.

She looked up when she heard the bathroom door open and saw Steve emerge quickly. She shot up from the bed and tackled him in a hug. She cried into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around.

"Love, I'm ok." He reassured her as he lifted her off the ground.

"You-you-" She cried and pressed her lips against his. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held him tightly.

Steve walked them over to the bed and sat down. "Nat, look at me. Look at me sweetheart." He whispered and lifted her chin up to face him.

She climbed into his lap and looked at him. "I never meant to wake you up. I'm sorry." She cried into his neck.

He nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. "It's ok. Nat, go back to sleep. I'll be here." He whispered and lay down on the bed, Natasha tucked into his side.

She buried her head in his neck again before her eyes shut due to sleep deprivation. Her arms snaked around his arm subconsciously and her breathing quickened against his neck.

Steve looked down at her and ran his fingers through her hair. He held her closer to him before reaching over and taking a book from his nightstand.

Natasha stirred a couple of hours later, with no nightmares that had disturbed her sleep. She woke up and saw Steve dozing with a book on his chest. She smiled and took the book from him.

She slipped out of the bed and walked into the bathroom. She heard him calling her name from the other room and she smiled. "I'm in the bathroom." She shouted back and stepped into the shower.

Steve heard the shower running and left Natasha's room to get himself some clothes. He changed and walked back to Natasha's room and found her lying on her bed in a towel, her red hair wet.

"I don't want to go to therapy today." She whispered and looked at him. She sat up and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Why?" He whispered and took her hands.

"Because it's hard." She looked down at the floor and tried to get her thoughts in order. "The Red Room kept telling me that I was worthless and had no place in this world. Then I met you and you helped me open up, it's hard for me to open up to people that I know. Heck, there are things you don't know about me because I'm scared you'll leave me if you ever find out."

Steve nodded and moved closer to her on the bed. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"So it's going to be even harder for me to open up to people I don't even know. And I know you're going to come with me but I'm just scared. I'm scared that he's going to use it against me, like the Red Room did, and the KGB did."

"No one is going to use anything they know against you, I promise. I promise." He told her and pulled her towards him. "I love you Nat. And you can trust me."

Natasha looked up at him, "Later." She whispered and buried her head in his chest.

Steve held her tightly before removing the towel from around her body and helping her get changed. He held her again and kissed her lips. "I promise you that no one will ever hurt you again, ever. I promise you sweetheart."

"I know, I know." She whispered and broke away from the embrace. "I trust you." She grabbed his hand and led them down the corridor.

They walked down and out of the tower, skipping breakfast, and to Steve's bike. He helped her onto the bike and began driving to a little café he knew she loved.

Natasha looked up at him and smiled as she got off the bus. She held his hand and they walked into the café. She ignored all of the looks Steve got from the female occupants and kissed his cheek to mark her territory.

He smirked and pulled out her chair. He sat down next to her and let her lean into his side. "I trust you too Nat." He turned to kiss her hair.

Natasha smiled and tears wet her eyelashes. She dabbed at her eyes and laughed.

The waitress came over and looked at the couple expectantly, "What will you have?" She asked, smiling brightly at the couple in love.

"Two coffee's and some croissants." Steve said, looking to Natasha to make sure she wanted what he was ordering. "Anything I'm missing?" he asked.

Natasha laughed and nodded. "That's all." She smiled at the waitress who nodded and walked away. She rested her head on his shoulder and stared up at him. "You are the only person who's ever told me they trust me, Clint never even said it, although I know he does."

He smiled and thanked the waitress as she bought them their food and turned to Natasha, "I love you, Nat." He brought the cup up to his lips and took a sip, letting the coffee burn his throat.

"I love you too." She said and got up from the table when they finished their coffee. She placed some cash on the table and led Steve out of the café.

"Can we have a normal conversation please? One that isn't about HYDRA or SHIELD or the Red Room? Before we have to go and talk about them." He asked as they got on the bike.

Natasha buried her head in his back and wrapped her arms around his torso as he began to drive to the park. "Do you think you'll ever retire? Move out of the compound and into a house? Have a family?" She asked as he helped her off the bike.

"Yeah, all the time. But I don't really want kids, I mean, they'd be in danger all the time." He told her and kissed her.

Natasha smiled, "Really? You don't want kids?" Maybe she had a proper future with him after all. She linked her arm through his and held it tightly.

"No, unless you want them?" He asked questioningly, worried about the tears that had wetted her eyelashes.

"I want them." She whispered, shaking her head to try and clear her thoughts. "I just, can't have them." She whispered, her voice hardly audible.

Steve looked down at her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "I didn't catch that." He whispered and kissed her temple.

"I can't have children." She let out a whimper and held him tighter.

"Oh Nat," He cooed and pulled her tightly into his arms. "It's ok sweetheart."

Natasha nodded and began to pull him towards his bike. "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too."

 **A/N: I have no idea what the frick I'm doing with this story and writers block, SUCKS. Anyways, please leave a review if you liked it or if you want to leave a one shot idea. Love you all 3000.**


	16. Chapter 16

"So, I assume that you are Natasha Romanoff and that you are Steve Rogers?" Dr Xavier asked, his eyes flicking between the couple. He could sense uncertainty on the woman's part, so he tried to lighten the mood with joke. "Unless it's the other way around?"

Natasha laughed lightly, the uncertainty in her eyes dying down slightly. "No, I'm Natasha. And this is Steve." She grabbed onto Steve's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Hi." Steve said awkwardly.

"Right this way." Xavier said as he led them towards his room. He gestured towards the sofa and they sat down, observing the way the couple sat down closely to each other. He chuckled, his laugh attracting their attention.

"Yes?" Natasha said irritably, her walls building up at the thought of having to spill her secrets. She felt Steve place a hand on her arm and rub it reassuringly it.

"So, why are you here?" Xavier asked.

Natasha looked towards Steve, moving closer to him subconsciously. She held his hand again and rested against his side. "Er, I have really bad nightmares and can hardly sleep after I have them."

"I can tell you don't want to be here Natasha, but I promise you that I can help you." Xavier explained, reaching over to get his clipboard. "If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can call me Charles. Now, tell me a bit more about why you get these nightmares."

Natasha nodded and looked up at Steve, who smiled gently. "When I was very young, my parents were taken from me and I was taken by the Red Room. They tortured and hurt me and when I was old enough they gave me to the KGB and I hurt people, so many people." She choked out and tears built up in her eyes.

"Then Clint helped me turn to SHIELD and ever since then, I've been having these nightmares about people I love dying and I didn't think they were that big of deal because I'm used to running on hardly any sleep anyways because of missions and stuff. Steve was the first one to tell me that I should get help and I agreed."

"Ok, that's a lot. I'll start with trauma from the Red Room and we can move from there." Charles said, and looked towards the clock. "We have fifteen minutes left of this session. So we can start now and continue next Friday or we could start next Friday."

"Today." Natasha said, looking up to Steve for confirmation. She held his hand tighter and looked back over at Xavier.

"Ok. If you could, please go into more detail about your childhood and I can work on strategies from there."

"Ivan took me from my parents and took me to the Red Room. I was one of thirteen different girls, all of whom I steadily became small friends with. We were made to train against each other, and I was the best. The leaders gave me small privileges but I knew they wouldn't last." She paused, her hands shaking.

"When I was thirteen, they made me fight some of the older girls with weapons. They said the winning girl would receive a serum. I didn't think much of it. I just did what I was trained to do. They- they gave me the serum. I killed my friends. I killed people I loved because I was trained to."

Steve wrapped an arm around her as tears fell steadily from her eyes. He kissed her temple as she curled her hand into his shirt.

"I think it's time we stop this session." Xavier said as Natasha began to calm down. "The same time next Friday." He said and saw them out.

"Thank you." Steve said as they walked out of the place. He wrapped an arm around Natasha's waist and helped her to his bike. "You did well babe."

Natasha just nodded and Steve hoped today wasn't too much for her. She climbed onto the bike and clung to his waist as they drove back to the tower.

Steve kissed Natasha's temple as she laid her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist as they lay lazily on the sofa. He could tell something was wrong but he didn't want to press her, knowing today had been too much for her.

"Thank you today. It meant a lot." She whispered and flipped onto her stomach. Pressing her lips against his, she cupped his face.

"Keep it PG in here!" Tony screamed through the comms. "We're coming in, I want you both clothed when we come in or I will kick you out of the tower until you can control your hands."

Natasha broke the kiss and laughter racked her body. "Come in Tony." She called and Steve was glad to see she was more or less back to her old self.

Steve felt a weight on his legs and he raised his head and saw Tony sitting cross-legged on them. "What the hell?" He groaned, trying to shake the grown man off.

"Romanoff gets to use you as a pillow, why can't I?" Tony quipped.

"Because I'm dating him and you're not." Natasha laughed and shoved Tony off his legs. She curled into Steve's chest once he had sat up.

She tried to stop her mind wandering back to the Red Room and everything they'd done to her. The therapy today had brought up memories, memories she hoped to have forgotten. Memories of her friends, the ones she'd killed to get this serum. The serum she hated beyond belief.

Steve sensed her stiffen and he looked down at her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, I'm just gonna go upstairs for a while." She whispered and got off him, fighting back her tears. She held her hands out when he moved to get up with her, "No, please stay down here. I'm fine, I promise." She said and walked out of the door, letting her tears fall.

 **A/N: Hi, it's been ages. I'm gonna put this story on hold for a while whilst I write the rest of the chapters and I have ideas for a new Marvel X SPN books so yeah. See you later**


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